The 3-Phase Divorce Housing Journey
What is the 3-phase divorce housing journey, and when should you decide what happens to the home?
The 3-phase divorce housing journey breaks housing decisions into stabilization, evaluation, and transition so you can avoid rushing major real estate choices during an emotional time. Instead of reacting under pressure, you move step by step, using clear guidance and timing to protect your finances and your future.
According to expert advice from Melina Rissone, If you are navigating divorce in San Diego, this approach matters even more. Home values are high, neighborhoods behave differently block by block, and decisions made too quickly can follow you for years.
Why Divorce Real Estate in San Diego Feels Overwhelming
For many couples, the home is the largest shared asset, the largest shared debt, and the most emotionally charged part of a divorce. In San Diego, that weight is amplified. Median home prices remain well above national averages, inventory is limited in many neighborhoods, and even small pricing mistakes can translate into six-figure consequences.
What I see most often is not bad intent, but pressure. People assume they need to decide immediately. That belief drives fear, conflict, and regret. In reality, most strong outcomes follow a predictable progression. That is what the 3-phase divorce housing journey is designed to support.
Phase 1: Stabilization
The “What Do I Do Right Now?” Phase
The goal of the stabilization phase is simple: create breathing room before making irreversible housing decisions.
Divorce is emotional by nature. When housing decisions are made in that emotional peak, they are often the ones people wish they could undo later. In this phase, the most common thoughts usually are:
Can I afford this house on my own?
Do I have to move right now?
What if I make the wrong decision and it costs me everything?
During divorce in San Diego, selling immediately is not always the wrong move, but it is also not automatically the right one. Market timing, neighborhood demand, and interest rate conditions can all meaningfully affect your outcome. Pausing does not mean avoiding reality. It means avoiding a permanent decision before you have the information to support it.
During the stabilization phase, short-term housing arrangements are often part of the conversation. Some couples stay in the home temporarily while they gather information. In other cases, one spouse moves out while ownership remains unchanged. Renting can also be a strategic bridge. It is not a failure. It can be a way to preserve flexibility while protecting credit and cash flow.
What matters most in this phase is information before action. You need a neutral home value based on current San Diego market conditions, not an algorithm. You need a clear snapshot of mortgage balances and equity. And you need to understand the difference between legal ownership and emotional attachment. When facts are shared and neutral, conflict tends to soften.
Phase 2: Evaluation
The “What Are My Real Options?” Phase
The evaluation phase is where fear starts to loosen its grip. The goal here is to make informed choices based on numbers, not emotions.
Once the initial shock of divorce settles, most people are ready to ask better questions. This phase often brings relief because uncertainty is replaced with structure. Instead of guessing, you begin to compare real scenarios.
In San Diego divorce real estate cases, outcomes tend to fall into a few familiar paths. Some couples sell the home and split the proceeds, creating a clean financial break. Others explore a buyout, where one spouse keeps the home and compensates the other for their share of equity. That option requires more than desire. It depends on income, refinancing ability, and a realistic post-divorce budget.
There are also situations where couples co-own temporarily, sometimes referred to as a deferred sale or nesting arrangement. These can work, but only when expectations, timelines, and responsibilities are clearly defined. Less commonly, the home is kept jointly as a long-term investment, which requires strong communication and legal clarity to avoid future conflict.
One of the biggest shifts in this phase is realizing that affordability after divorce matters more than the original purchase price. Many people ask whether they can keep the house. The more important question is whether they should. In San Diego, property taxes, insurance, maintenance, and future repairs add up quickly. What felt manageable with two incomes can quietly become overwhelming with one.
Tax considerations also start to surface here. Capital gains exposure, property tax rules, and future deductions tied to mortgage interest can all factor into timing and strategy. These are not reasons to panic, but they are reasons to coordinate with tax and financial professionals rather than guessing.
This is also where online home value estimates often cause trouble. Automated tools do not understand divorce timelines, condition differences, or San Diego’s hyper-local pricing. In neighborhoods like Bankers Hill, North Park, La Mesa, or Point Loma, two homes with similar square footage can have dramatically different values based on location and condition alone. Instead of guessing, request a complimentary professional home valuation from Melina and make your next move with confidence.
A neutral, divorce-informed Realtor provides a shared reference point. That neutrality helps reduce conflict and keeps discussions grounded in reality. This is where the difference between “can I keep the house” and “should I keep the house” becomes clear.
Phase 3: Transition
The “What’s Next?” Phase
The transition phase is about execution and forward motion. The goal is to move ahead with confidence and financial stability.
At this point, decisions have been made. The focus shifts from debating options to carrying them out correctly. If the home is being sold, preparation matters. Timing the sale with San Diego market conditions, agreeing on repairs or presentation, and keeping communication structured all help reduce stress during an already difficult period.
Selling during divorce often requires cooperation even when emotions are still present. This is where professional coordination becomes essential. When attorneys, mediators, financial advisors, and real estate professionals are aligned, delays and disputes tend to decrease.
Transition also includes planning what comes next. Some people buy a new home on their own. Others downsize to lower expenses and simplify life. Renting intentionally can also be part of a strong rebuilding strategy. There is no universal right answer. The right outcome is the one that protects your credit, preserves your equity, and supports your peace of mind.
Housing decisions are deeply tied to identity and memory. Closing this chapter is not only financial. It is emotional. When the process is thoughtful, that closure feels intentional rather than forced.
This phase is not about loss. It is about rebuilding.
Divorce Real Estate in San Diego: Costly Mistakes and Common Questions
The biggest divorce real estate problems I see in San Diego usually come from the same place: moving too fast with incomplete information. People make decisions before they understand true equity, agree to buyouts without confirming the refinancing path, or lean on online estimates as if they are divorce-ready valuations. That is also why the most common questions show up early, like whether you have to sell before the divorce is final, whether you are allowed to wait to sell, and what happens if one spouse refuses to cooperate.
In many cases you do not have to sell before everything is finalized, but timing should always be confirmed with your attorney. Waiting can make sense depending on San Diego market conditions, school schedules, and financial readiness, as long as the plan is clear. And if cooperation breaks down, that is not unusual. Neutral pricing information, clear documentation, and coordinated guidance with the right professionals can help keep things moving when emotions stall the process.
What to Clarify Before You Decide What to Do With the House
Before making a permanent housing decision, you want a clear understanding of current market value based on local data, not averages. You need a realistic picture of mortgage balances and equity. And you need to separate emotional attachment from financial sustainability. When those pieces are in place, decisions tend to feel calmer and more grounded.
Final Thoughts on the 3-Phase Divorce Housing Journey
Divorce real estate decisions do not have to be rushed or chaotic. When you understand the 3-phase divorce housing journey, you gain control over timing, options, and outcomes.
Working with a local expert like Melina Rissone means your housing decisions are guided by real San Diego market knowledge, neutrality, and experience with divorce-related transactions. Every situation is different. The goal is not a perfect outcome. It is a sustainable one.
If you are navigating divorce and unsure what to do with your home, consider a personalized, pressure-free conversation about your options in the San Diego real estate market.
Melina Rissone
Having sold properties for more than 20 years and earning various prestigious awards throughout the course of her career, Melina Rissone has more than earned her reputation as one of San Diego's most skilled and trustworthy real estate brokers selling homes and luxury condominiums. Her loyal clientele would share that Melina brings structure and planning to chaos. She specializes in supporting her clients and their referrals; families and individuals going through divorce and seniors and active adults planning their moves and financial decisions during their retirement years.
Coldwell Banker Global Luxury and Institute of Luxury Home Marketing certified.
Certified Senior Advisor by the Society of Certified Senior Advisors
RCS-D Designation, a Real Estate Collaboration Specialist for Divorce.
SRES Certification through NAR is a Seniors Real Estate Specialist certification.
Melina is bilingual in English and German.
Recognized as the Top 4% of all real estate brokers in San Diego County in 2021 and the Top 3% of Coldwell Banker International.
Coldwell Banker Presidents Elite Award.
Recognize as the Top 2% of Coldwell Banker West in 2024.
Coldwell Banker Global Luxury and Institute of Luxury Home Marketing Certified.
Melina is on point, extremely resourceful and well connected. She has a very versatile knowledgebase so was able to help guide us in many areas I was not even expecting from an agent. I've referred her to several friends who all reported great experiences. She takes her role in representing her client very seriously so its not like some kind of half time gig thing. She gets it done.
-Dan C.
